You remember how this blog
was originally about my quest to get out of Shelton, CT? And you know has long
since turned into me getting overly annoyed and overly excited about
things? Well, that’s all for one basic
reason.
Trying to figure out the
future is depressing.
Dreaming about the future is
fun. You can be anything. You can do
anything. You can go anywhere. You can marry anyone. Quite literally your only limits are the
limits of your imagination.
Planning for your future—less
fun. There are logistics to work out
that don’t seem to actually have solutions.
There are questions of “How much is that going to cost me?” and “If I
move there will I be able to find a job and/or legally be able to work?” and “It
takes how long to get that processed?”
There is also the crushing
reality that, statistically speaking, I’m not likely to end up anywhere that I
want. Or I’ll get close to where I want,
sinking a ton of time, energy, and money into it, only to discover that what I
thought I wanted isn’t anything that I wanted at all, that I’ve wasted years of
my life to reach a goal I am disappointed to have reached.
I think that’s why it’s so
much easier for me to daydream about the future, and to make excuses to not get
anything done. That’s why I’m in trouble
in the long run. Unless I buckle down and really force myself to face the
bitter truth of It all. Wish me luck.
<3
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