Me and My Brain

My subconscious and I have a very interesting relationship.  For twenty-two years, it has been trying to tell me important things, and for twenty-two years I’ve been mostly ignoring it. It has come to realize over time that if it wants me to really pay attention to something, it has to smack me in the face. That has led to some very interesting dreams.

Recently, I’ve been having a very interesting pseudo-reoccurring dream. It’s only pseudo-reoccurring because it does change in some of the detail, but there are overarching similarities between the dreams, including the general passing of the dream’s “story line.”  It goes as following: I’m walking along one of the bridge tunnels in the Hampton Roads area, most frequently the HRBT or The Chesapeake Bay Bridge tunnel. I am walking by myself, but I’m passing other people who are walking or biking, occasionally driving, by who will stop to say hello or give me a wave. When I reach the tunnel, I find someone waiting at the end of the tunnel, always someone different but someone I was coming to meet, but I also find that all the lights in the tunnel have gone out, leaving the whole path completely black.  When I try to look past the tunnel, I can see the water stretching out for miles, but I can’t see where the tunnel comes back up or the land on the other side.

I ask the person who I’m standing next to where the tunnel leads, and they tell me that I know, which “I do,” (couldn’t actually tell you, but I’m overwhelmed with the desire to get to the other side of the tunnel.  What I know is that really good things are on the opposite side of that tunnel) but then I ask what’s going on in the tunnel, and I’m met with various responses that are summed up with “Don’t know. Isn’t that half the fun?”

Depending on the night, either I make the decision to walk blindly into the tunnel, or I get scared and turn to walk back towards Virginia Beach instead.  Either way you spin it, I wake up a little bit panicked, either because I was walking in complete darkness, or because I had given up and gone home.

So, here’s my take on the very blunt symbolism of it all.  I know that there are great things waiting for me in the future. I know that if I can suck up the fear and doubt, I can make it through “the tunnel.” The problem is—I don’t know what’s going to happen in that tunnel. I don’t have a clue what I am going to have to face, or how hard I am going to have to work, or even if I can actually make it through the tunnel without getting seriously messed up on the way. But I have to decide if I’m going head into that darkness, or if I’m just going to turn around and head home.  And clearly, I don’t know which way to go.

Anyway, that’s dream reading with Bekah Beth. Tune in tomorrow for something equally pointless that I am equally unqualified to talk about.

<3