It’s funny what brains hold
on to, and how things are categorized. Like, ask me to tell you my happiest
moment of life so far, and I couldn’t.
It’s hard for my brain to pick just one moment when I was truly,
ridiculously happy, one moment that outshines the others, or a moment when I
didn’t have at least something weighing on my mind and making me unhappy.
But ask me about the
scariest moment of my life, the most upsetting, and I could tell it to you in a
heartbeat, without even a second of hesitation or a moment to think. I won’t
record those details here because it involves people I love, who probably
wouldn’t appreciate me airing their dirty laundry on the internet, however
small my viewer count on this page is, but suffice it to say that I can
remember every single moment of that day, and the days that follow, in extreme
detail—more detail than I’d like.
How do I go about
remembering the happier times in such detail? How do I get those moments to
replay themselves in my dreams? Why is it when I think of my past, my mind
automatically jumps to the mistakes, and the times I let people down, instead
of the times that I did well, did good, and was told I made the world a little
bit better? Am I just hardwired to the
negative of things?
There are no real answers to
the questions I’m posing, but I can’t help but ask them anyways. I’m going to
go watch stand up comics on YouTube until I start laughing again.
<3
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