Being a Fan Can Change Your Life

Much like yesterday, I gave myself a very open ended topic suggestion for today. It simply says “Fan of (Books, Games, Etc)”  I think the point was to let me write about whatever I was feeling particularly fan-y about today, which was a good idea, except that I can’t seem to settle on what fandom I want to write about today.

I am a huge fan of so many things, and a causal fan of so many others.  I’ve met some of my best friends because of the TV shows I watch and the books I read.  I’m only as close as I am to one of my very best friends because of our love for Harry Potter, and a summer we spent doing almost nothing but trying desperately to stay awake through a consecutive marathon of the movies, and writing fan fiction.  The group that I hung out with throughout college only found me because I was idly typing “Stargate SG-1” as a way to test fonts in computer class, and I was invited to watch Stargate Atlantis with the group on Friday night.  I can’t even begin to imagine how different my life would be if I hadn’t been a fan of SG-1 or Atlantis.  I’ve made friends online through various video games and out of love for specific comics. My brother gets annoyed when his girlfriend and I get together to squee over the latest expansion pack of The Sims game.   I don’t even know who I would be without my tendency to fangirl, and I frankly have no desire to find out.

<3 

Pet Peeves

So, the topic that I set for myself today is “Pet Peeves.”  I’ve already forgotten what pet peeve I wanted to write about today. So, I guess the lesson I’ve learned from today is to be specific in the topics that I set for myself.

I suppose I should be concerned that I have so many pet peeves that I see that prompt and immediately say “Hmm. To which of the many petty things that annoy me was I referring?”  Because, there are a lot of petty things that annoy me.  I mean, there are the people who don’t add the ‘ly’ to the end of their adverbs.  There are people who insist on putting a ‘C’ somewhere in my name (either first or last) when they should know better.  There are random strangers that feel the need to comment on my preference for diet sodas (That sugar substitute will give you cancer, you know. Scientists said so). There are people who giggle when I ask them a question instead of giving me an answer.  There are people who answer a question “Yes” when it’s clearly an ‘either/or’ question, not ‘yes/no.’  People who mess with my things just to see how red in the face I’ll get.  People who don’t clean up sticky spots on the floor.  People who talk to me like I’m dumber than they are. People who—

You know, I should just go ahead and stop here.  I am  getting angrier by the second, and that’s not something good to do last thing at night.  I’m just a very easily irritated person, and let’s leave it at that.

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Redesigning The Door

So—I’ve already started failing at updating this blog at regular intervals.  That means to me that I’m doing something wrong.  And since in the past couple of weeks I’ve rearranged my room (and managed to keep it relatively clean), bought my new planner/to-do list for the 2013 year, and restructured the way I approach my to-do list items to make sure I get things done, it’s clearly a season for re-vamping and re-imagining.  So, I’m doing the same here. I’ve got a new plan.

I’m going to assign myself a topic every day.  Well, every day Monday through Saturday.  Sunday I will take the day off from writing, and use it to assign my topics for the next week.  I’m going to put these topics in my to-do list where they will glare at me insistently until I finally buckle down and write them.  However, I know I am destined to miss a day or two still, because I am what I am. What that means is that you, dear blog reader, will probably get two posts the next day, covering the topic I wrote down for that day and the day before.  Because I can’t cross it off the to-do list until it’s been done.  Because I’m mental like that.

So, hopefully this will start tomorrow.  I’ve got a topic and everything.  It’s very exciting. Who knows—I might even start putting tags on these posts so that strangers can find them.  How interesting.

See you on the other side.

<3 

Memories

It’s funny what brains hold on to, and how things are categorized. Like, ask me to tell you my happiest moment of life so far, and I couldn’t.  It’s hard for my brain to pick just one moment when I was truly, ridiculously happy, one moment that outshines the others, or a moment when I didn’t have at least something weighing on my mind and making me unhappy.

But ask me about the scariest moment of my life, the most upsetting, and I could tell it to you in a heartbeat, without even a second of hesitation or a moment to think. I won’t record those details here because it involves people I love, who probably wouldn’t appreciate me airing their dirty laundry on the internet, however small my viewer count on this page is, but suffice it to say that I can remember every single moment of that day, and the days that follow, in extreme detail—more detail than I’d like.

How do I go about remembering the happier times in such detail? How do I get those moments to replay themselves in my dreams? Why is it when I think of my past, my mind automatically jumps to the mistakes, and the times I let people down, instead of the times that I did well, did good, and was told I made the world a little bit better?  Am I just hardwired to the negative of things?

There are no real answers to the questions I’m posing, but I can’t help but ask them anyways. I’m going to go watch stand up comics on YouTube until I start laughing again.

<3

Anywhere But Here Syndrome

I suffer from a sometimes tragic condition, which I have lovingly called “Anywhere but Here” Syndrome. Sometimes it strikes suddenly for a day and is gone just as quickly.  Sometimes it slowly builds up and lasts for weeks at a time before fading away again. It’s that feeling that I would just be happy if I weren’t at X but instead at Y.  I’m unhappy because I’m at work, and if I were just back in my apartment, I’d be okay.  I’m unhappy because I’m in my own apartment in Connecticut, and if I were just in my parents’ house in Virginia, I’d be okay.  I’m unhappy because I’m in the car, and if I were just sitting still I’d be okay.  I’m unhappy because I’m sitting still, and if I were just going somewhere I’d be okay. I’m unhappy because I’m somewhere I know, and If I were someplace exotic and novel, I’d be okay. I’m unhappy because I’m somewhere strange and foreign, but if I were somewhere I frequented often, I’d be okay.  It’s a feeling that leaves me all kinds of twisted up, and has me simultaneously wanting to move out to the UK and back to Virginia Beach, and getting frustrated because I know there is no way to fulfill both desires.

All it really means is that I am unhappy, and unwilling to own up to it, or take the responsibility of making myself feel better.  It’s not my fault; it’s all these different circumstances, and if I had it my way, I’d change this one thing, and be happy. It’s just time to put on my big girl pants and suck it up.

<3

Some Excuses

Okay, so I’m really, really bad at this whole actively updating my blog posts thing.  I have friends who are putting me to shame (hiya, Doly-face). It’s not that I don’t have things to say—because I do.  I like to rant and ramble on here. It’s a lot of fun, actually. However, sometimes I second guess whether or not what I have to say is actually worth saying. Not that it really matters too much.  It’s a blog that’s only publicity is through my Facebook friends list, and only gets a handful of views per post. So it’s not like the world is going to explode if I say something that is completely pointless.

But, as a very attractive fictional hacker once told me, there are no secrets on the internet.  So, if I put it out there, it is potentially out there forever and ever and ever. I’m thinking that’s why I’ve yet to put any fiction up on this blog.  I can deal with my past thoughts and ramblings being an embarrassment. Heaven knows that living in my family you have to deal with past stupid thoughts or past stupid sayings being a part of your day to day life.  If you can’t get over the embarrassment, you aren’t going to survive.  I don’t know how much I can deal with my past fiction writing being an embarrassment. That is much harder for me to deal with.

I guess the summary of all this is that I am complete chickenshit. And here’s a blog post to declare it to the world.

<3

More Adventures In People Watching--Post Hurricane Edition

There are a lot of really good things about working where I do. There are a lot of really bad things as well.  But both the best and the worst part of working is getting a glimpse into general human nature.

Due to Hurricane Sandy, my store has been out of power for almost a week now. Because of that, I've been working at different stores in the area as they try to deal with the increase in numbers.  A lot of people without power were coming in to use the outlets and the free wifi, and were drinking a lot of coffee because of it.  Over the past couple of days, I have witnessed some of the most uplifting and disheartening things in my relatively short life.

I saw a woman get so annoyed with having to wait in line that she swore at my co-worker trying to take her order, complained non-stop about our crappy service while I was trying to ring her out, and even tried to steal from our tip jar.

I saw another woman lend a family her iPod charger because two children were complaining that there wouldn’t be enough time to charge both of their iPods before they had to go home.

I saw a man unplug someone else’s computer to use the outlet, without asking or even looking around to see what he was unplugging.

I saw a man offer to pay for the two orders after him, because he was lucky enough to keep his power through the storm, and he knew the next two families in line had been without power for the last three days.

I had someone call me an idiot because I didn’t know their usual drink, even though they had never seen me before.

I had others thank me for driving out of my way to help out with other stores.

I don’t really have a conclusion to draw from all this.  I just find it fascinating.

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