Friday, February 1, 2013

Fiction: Legal Theft-- Calling Him Out


"You've already mapped out our whole relationship, haven't you?" Richard looked up from his notes and found Chrissy smiling at him. She was a friend of a friend kind of person, someone he'd known for a couple months now.
"I'm sorry?" He asked, not because he hadn't heard her, but because he needed time to come up with a response.
"You've realized that we get along. You've seen how we've been flirting.  You've sized me up in your head. You've determined what a happy honeymoon period we would have, and then you've theorized about hypothetical flaws in my personality that would drive you crazy, or what traits of your personality would drive me mad.  You've pictured a big break up for us, and ultimately decided 'What's the point?'  Am I hitting close to the mark here?" She said it all in a gentle, only slightly teasing way.
His silence and slightly guilty smile confirmed that she had hit a bulls eye.  She smiled just a little bit wider, and in spite of himself, he gave her a genuine smile back.  "Don't worry.  I may have done the same."  She sat down on the couch next to him, and patted him on the knee. "So, let's hear it.  What was my fatal flaw that ultimately lead to our relationships demise?"
"Uh, not yours, actually, but mine.  I was unwilling to be lenient on a cleaning system I had developed over the years.  When we moved in together, you just kept making small mistakes.  I started repeating the system in the way one might try to teach a child, to which you snapped and yelled "You're not my Mother" which lead to a bigger over all argument, which lead to you storming out leaving me once again alone and miserable."  He wasn't entirely sure why he was telling her all this, but he did feel comfortable doing so.
"Oh, very nice.  For the record, I will get mad if you treat me like a child, but also for the record, I only have to be taught something twice before I've got it committed to memory."
"Let's hear your version then,"  Richard reached out and patted Chrissy on the knee in a mimic, "What was it that lead to your version of our relationship's demise?"
"Not yours, but mine," She echoed, "I get into these moods, some days, where I don't want to be in a good mood and I don't want to be cheered up.  People can comfort me, if they want, but any active attempt to make me happy will be met with bitterness and rage. I've yet to meet anyone who could tolerate these moods for long, and in my head, you're no different.  Eventually, you get fed up and leave, and I have a proper reason to mope for days at a time."
"Hmm." He stroked his chin dramatically, and Chrissy laughed. "Well, I certainly understand those moods, I've been stuck by them.  I don't know how I would respond to being on the opposite side of that coin."
"So, shall we put our theories to the test?" She asked, jumping back up to her feet.
"What do you mean?"
"Are you going to ask me out for real? Or will this all remain purely hypothetical?"
He was quite for a moment, trying to decide what the right answer here was supposed to be.  Was she having him on, or did she genuinely want him to ask her out?
Finally, he decided to throw caution to the wind. "So, do you think it'd be alright if I took you out for dinner sometime this weekend?"
"I'd like that. You've got my number, give me a call."  She smiled and gave him a wink, before turning on her heel and skipping out of the room.
He smiled and looked back down at his notes before shaking his head and wondering aloud to himself, "What in the world have I gotten myself into?"
<3

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