Thinking about the future is
a very bittersweet experience. On the one hand, there are a hundred thousand
possibilities. Who knows where I'll be, what I'll have reached in a year. Two
years. A decade. I could go anywhere, be
anything, and fulfill my wildest dreams.
But, by the very same token,
I could get nowhere and do nothing. I
could work my ass off and still be sitting in the exact same spot in a year,
two years, a decade. Or worse, maybe
worst, I'll lose motivation altogether.
I'll be in the same exact spot, because I gave up hope and I gave up
trying. The sad thing is I know myself
well enough to know that it is not out of the realm of possibilities for me.
Not by a long shot.
The truth is, I don't know
where I want to be in a year, two years, a decade. I can't set out a plan, or dive head first
towards a goal, because I don't know what that goal is. I'm indecisive with the best of them and,
although I hate to admit it, I am absolutely terrified of the unknown. A friend’s blog posed an interesting
question. If you were present with a
book that contain all of your life, every moment from life to death, and if you
read one line you had to read them all, cover to cover, would you read it? My answer would be an immediate and
resounding yes. I want to read it. Would I regret that? Probably. Probably immediately. But I want to know. Almost more than
anything, I want the future to stop being a mystery.
<3
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